Greetings, you sensible survivors of the Trumpocalypse, and welcome to the ultimate guide on curing Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS).
TDS is the fake plague that turns rational humans into frothing loons over a certain golden-haired loudmouth. This isn’t about mildly disliking the guy; TDS is the full-on meltdown where every “tremendous” sends folks into a spiral of rage and bad X posts.
If you’ve got common sense—lucky you!—buckle up for a laugh as we explore some hilariously absurd “cures” for this self-inflicted madness.
Step 1: The Social Media Detox
First, yank the TDSer off X—those blue-check rants about Trump’s latest burger selfie are their lifeblood. Lock their phone in a safe, toss the key, and watch them twitch like a junkie without a fix.
It’s a digital exorcism, and it’s glorious. They might claw at the walls for a signal. Tough love—deal with it.
Step 2: The Reality TV Reboot
Next, plop them in front of old Apprentice reruns—force them to see Trump as the cheesy host he once was, not Satan in a red tie. “You’re fired!” becomes a punchline, not a policy threat, and common sense whispers, “He’s just a guy with bad hair.” TDSers might still see tyranny in his boardroom squint, but it’s a start.
Laughter’s the goal here—mock the comb-over, not the country. They’ll resist, clutching their “Resist” tees. Keep the remote handy.
Step 3: The Apple-a-Day Hoax
Hand them an apple and say, “This’ll fix ya!”—it’s nonsense, but the placebo effect might kick in.
Common sense knows fruit won’t cure an obsession with “covfefe,” but they’ll munch away, muttering about Trump’s orange skin matching the peel.
It’s a fruity farce worth a giggle. They might choke on the irony. Tell ‘em it’s organic—calms the nerves.
Step 4: The Golf Course Getaway
Ship them to a golf resort—Trump’s natural habitat—and let the absurdity sink in: he’d rather swing clubs than swing elections.
Common sense sees a retiree in tacky pants; TDSers see a dictator plotting from the 9th hole. Force a putter in their hands—they might swing at imaginary Russian spies.
It’s exposure therapy with a side of sunburn. They’ll hate the plaid shorts. Progress is progress.
Step 5: The Conspiracy Cleanse
Sit them down and debunk their wildest theories—Trump’s not Putin’s puppet, just a guy who likes fast food.
Common sense laughs at the idea of him masterminding anything beyond a McDonald’s order, but TDSers will cling to their “he stole 2020” fan fiction. Rip up their tinfoil hat—it’s for their own good.
It’s a logic bath they’ll hate. They’ll cry “gaslighting!” You’ll cry laughing.
Step 6: The Mirror Moment
Hold up a mirror and say, “Look, you’re the crazy one here.”
Common sense knows raging over a guy who’d rather hawk NFTs than nuke nations is peak absurdity, but TDSers see a hero fighting evil. Make them stare ‘til they blink—self-awareness might sneak in.
It’s tough love with a reflection. They’ll blame Trump for the glass. Keep pointing anyway.
Step 7: The KFC Peace Offering
Hand them a drumstick and say, “Trump loves this—maybe it’s not so bad.”
Common sense enjoys the grease; TDSers see a fried conspiracy—“He’s poisoning us!”—and toss it like it’s radioactive. It’s a culinary truce they’ll never accept, but the attempt’s hilarious.
Watch them squirm at the colonel’s smile. It’s fast food, not fascism. Dip it in gravy for extra fun.
Step 8: The “He’s Just One Guy” Mantra
Drill it in: “He’s one dude, not the universe.”
Common sense gets it—Trump’s a loud blip, not the end of days—but TDSers act like he’s personally taxing their oat milk. Repeat ‘til they’re hoarse; they might accidentally hear you.
It’s a chant for sanity’s sake. They’ll plug their ears. Keep singing—it’s catchy.
Step 9: The Laughter Prescription
Force-feed them Trump gaffes—“bigly,” “covfefe,” the works—and demand they laugh, not rage.
Common sense finds gold in his bloopers; TDSers see threats in every stumble, per their humor black hole. Play it on loop ‘til they crack a smile or crack completely.
It’s comedy rehab, and it’s brutal. They’ll call it torture. We call it healing.
Step 10: The “Move On” Bootcamp
Last resort: ship them to a retreat—no news, no Trump, just trees and silence.
Common sense thrives in the quiet; TDSers will smuggle a radio to catch his latest quip, screaming “HE’S STILL OUT THERE!” It’s a detox camp they’ll fight tooth and nail.
Nature’s the cure they don’t want. They’ll hug a pine, cursing its MAGA vibes. Progress is slow but funny.
The Common Sense Catch: It’s Their Choice
Here’s the punchline: no cure works unless they want it—Psychology Today says TDS isn’t real, just a cultural tantrum. Common sense knows Trump’s a cartoon, not a crisis, but TDSers love their outrage like a security blanket. We can’t fix what they won’t ditch.
It’s a self-own they’ll never admit. We’re just here with popcorn. Their loss, our gain.
Cultural Comedy: The TDS Circus
TDS is a societal sitcom—X rants, protest signs, the works—and these “cures” are the gag reel. Know Your Meme calls it a meme; we call it free entertainment for the sane. Common sense watches the chaos unfold, chuckling at the “IMPEACH THE CHEETO!” signs.
They’re the stars, and we’re the audience. Media eggs it on—ratings, baby! We’re just here for the laughs.
Final Word: Save Yourself
So, curing TDS? Good luck—it’s a beast of their own making, per Salon.com, and these fixes are as real as Trump’s hairline. Common sense says laugh, live, and let them stew; they’ll rage ‘til he’s golfing in the afterlife.
They’re stuck in the derangement loop. You’re not—enjoy the sanity. I’m off to fry some chicken and watch the show.
