Welcome, sane folks, to a question so absurd it could only be born in 2025: Can a simple stroll cure Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS)?
We’re talking about that glorious mental meltdown where people lose their marbles over a certain brash, tangerine-tinted ex-president.
If you’ve got common sense—and bless you if you do—prepare to laugh at this ridiculous remedy for a ridiculous ailment.
TDS: A Quick Recap for the Unafflicted
TDS isn’t a virus you catch from shaking hands at a MAGA rally. It’s a self-inflicted condition where Trump becomes the Godzilla stomping through your brain, wrecking sanity with every “tremendous” boast.
Picture a vegan yoga mom screaming “FASCIST!” at her phone because Trump tweeted about Big Macs—yep, that’s the vibe.
Common sense says he’s just a loud guy who loves winning. TDS says he’s the apocalypse in a toupee. Either way, it’s a hoot to watch from the sidelines.
The Walking Cure: A Hippie’s Dream
Enter the latest cure floating around X: going for a walk. Some granola-crunching genius claims fresh air and a few steps can fix the frothing rage of TDS sufferers.
Imagine Karen, mid-rant about Trump’s hair, being told, “Hey, take a lap around the block—it’ll sort you out.”
It’s so simple it’s stupid, which makes it perfect for satire. Common sense chuckles—walking might lower your blood pressure, but it won’t unwire a brain obsessed with “covfefe.” Still, let’s play along and see where this goes.
The Science (Or Lack Thereof)
Science says walking boosts endorphins, those happy little brain chemicals. So maybe, just maybe, a TDSer could stroll past a squirrel and forget Trump’s latest golf course selfie.
But let’s be real—peer-reviewed studies don’t exist for “Can a hike stop you from hating an orange billionaire?”
Common sense knows this is wishful thinking. TDS isn’t a mood swing; it’s a lifestyle choice—like gluten-free diets but angrier. No amount of nature can undo that level of commitment.
The Field Test: Karen Hits the Trail
Picture Karen lacing up her eco-friendly sneakers, ready to walk off her Trump-induced tantrum. She stomps out the door, muttering about “dictators” and “tax cuts,” while birds chirp obliviously overhead.
Ten minutes in, she trips over a root—blames Trump—and the experiment’s already off the rails.
Common sense sees the flaw: TDSers don’t disconnect; they bring their phones. One X notification—“Trump’s selling NFT Bibles!”—and she’s back to square one, raging in the woods.
The Great Outdoors vs. The Great Orange
Nature’s supposed to be calming—trees, breeze, maybe a deer if you’re lucky. But for TDS sufferers, every rustling leaf sounds like Trump whispering, “You’re fired.”
A sunset? Nope, it’s his spray tan mocking them from the sky.
Common sense laughs at the mismatch. Walking works for stress, not for a vendetta against a guy who’d rather be eating KFC than running your life. TDS is too stubborn for tranquility.
The Social Media Paradox
Here’s the kicker: TDS thrives online, where X is a gladiator pit of Trump-hate. Walking might pull them away from the screen—fresh air instead of blue light—but they’d just livetweet the hike.
“Saw a bald eagle—reminds me of Trump’s awful hairline,” Karen posts, proving the cure’s DOA.
Common sense knows unplugging’s the real fix, not pacing in circles. But TDSers cling to their outrage like it’s a security blanket. A walk won’t cut that cord.
The Pundit Push: “Just Breathe, People!”
Cable news isn’t helping—pundits peddle walking like it’s a miracle cure. “Take a stroll, America, and let go of the Trump trauma!” they chirp, as if a lap around the park erases years of “RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA!”
Common sense rolls its eyes—TV thrives on TDS, not curing it.
These talking heads want ratings, not solutions. A calm populace doesn’t tune in for screaming matches. Walking’s just their latest gimmick to keep the circus rolling.
The Counterargument: It Might Make It Worse
What if walking backfires? Karen’s out there, huffing along, when she spots a “Trump 2028” bumper sticker on a pickup—boom, relapse city. Now she’s power-walking home to write a manifesto about “fascist truckers,” madder than ever.
Common sense predicts this twist. TDS isn’t a light switch; it’s a furnace stoked by every Trump sighting. A walk might just give them more time to stew.
The Common Sense Take: It’s a Band-Aid on a Meltdown
Let’s cut the crap—walking’s nice, but it’s no match for TDS. It’s like treating a shark bite with a Hello Kitty Band-Aid—cute, but useless.
Trump’s a lightning rod, and TDSers are happy to keep getting zapped.
Common sense says the real cure is perspective: he’s one guy, not the universe. A stroll might clear your head if you’re normal. For the afflicted, it’s just a change of scenery for the same old tantrum.
The Cultural Comedy: We’re All in on the Joke
TDS has turned society into a sitcom, and walking’s the latest punchline. Imagine the headlines: “Nation Heals Trump Hate with Sneakers!”—as if Nike could fix what years of screaming couldn’t.
Common sense watches, popcorn in hand, loving the absurdity.
Protests now feature “Walk Away TDS” marches—ironic, since they’re still chanting about him. It’s peak performance art. Only the sane see the humor in this mess.
The Verdict: Save Your Steps
So, can going for a walk cure TDS? Not a chance—it’s too ingrained, too hilarious, too self-inflicted. Common sense knew that from the jump; the rest are just chasing their tails in Birkenstocks.
Trump’s a character—love him, hate him, whatever—but TDSers are the real stars of this farce. A walk won’t fix their obsession; it might just give them shin splints to blame him for. I’m off to stroll anyway—sanity’s worth preserving.
