Welcome to TDS VAX, the only website brave enough—or maybe just unhinged enough—to tackle the greatest epidemic of our time: Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS). We’re not talking about some sniffly cold you caught from a MAGA rally; TDS is the full-blown, frothing-at-the-mouth meltdown that turns sane people into X-posting lunatics at the sight of a golden comb-over. Our mission? To find a cure before the next “tremendous” tweet sends half the population into a spiral of soy lattes and protest signs.

We’re a ragtag team of self-proclaimed scientists, ex-baristas, and one guy who claims he once saw Trump eat a taco bowl in person. Armed with sarcasm, questionable research, and a dream, we’ve dedicated our lives to saving the world from TDS—one satirical jab at a time. Think of us as the Ghostbusters, but instead of slime, we’re busting the ghosts of Trump-induced rage haunting your Aunt Karen’s soul.

Our credentials? Dubious. Our passion? Unmatched—except maybe by the guy who keeps refreshing Trump’s Truth Social for fresh outrage bait. We’re here because someone has to be, and we drew the short straw.

What Is TDS? A Plague of the Mind

TDS isn’t just disliking a loudmouth with a penchant for gold-plated everything—it’s a lifestyle. Sufferers see Trump behind every shadow: a traffic jam? His fault. Burnt toast? He rigged the toaster. It’s a condition where every “covfefe” becomes a call to arms, and every golf swing a sign of the end times.

We get it—Trump’s a walking caricature, equal parts reality TV star and political piñata. But TDS takes it to eleven, turning mild annoyance into a screaming match with a “Trump 2028” bumper sticker in a Whole Foods parking lot.

Our Goal: A Vaccine for the Deranged

At TDS VAX, we’re on a quest to cure this madness, whether it’s with a magic pill, a sage-smudging ritual, or just locking everyone’s phones in a Faraday cage. We’ve tried everything—yoga retreats, interpretive dance, even blasting “Sweet Caroline” until the rage subsides (spoiler: it didn’t work). Our lab (read: Dave’s basement) is churning out solutions faster than Trump churns out NFT trading cards.

Will we succeed? Probably not, but the journey’s half the fun. Plus, we’re racking up frequent flyer miles on the satire express.

Why We Do It: Because Someone Has To

Let’s be real: the world’s a circus, and TDS is the clown car that won’t stop honking. The media’s no help—they’re too busy yelling “ORANGE MAN BAD” to notice they’re feeding the beast. We’re stepping in because if we don’t laugh at this, we’ll cry—and we’re fresh out of tissues.

Common sense is our North Star. We know Trump’s just a guy who’d rather be eating KFC than running your life, but TDSers see him as Satan in a red tie. We’re here to bridge that gap with humor sharper than a rally crowd’s “Lock Her Up” chant.

Our Methods: Science Meets Absurdity

Our “research” includes scrolling X for the wildest TDS meltdowns, conducting field tests (yelling “TRUMP!” in a Starbucks to see who flips a table), and brewing experimental cures like chamomile tea spiked with glitter. We’ve got pie charts—mostly pie, less chart—and a patented “Calm Down-o-Tron 3000” that’s just a cardboard box with a smiley face. It’s cutting-edge stuff, folks.

Peer review? Nah, we’ve got Dave’s mom, and she says we’re geniuses. That’s good enough for us.

Join the Fight: Get Vaxxed Against TDS

We’re not just a website; we’re a movement—or at least a mildly amusing distraction. Sign up for our newsletter, “The Derangement Detox,” and get weekly updates on our fake cures, plus tips on how to survive your cousin’s next Trump rant at Thanksgiving. Donate to our cause—your dollars fund our coffee and keep Dave’s Wi-Fi on.

Together, we can cure TDS—or at least make it funny enough to tolerate. Because if we can’t fix the deranged, we can damn well laugh at them.

Disclaimer: Don’t Sue Us, We’re Broke

TDS VAX is satire, not a real medical outfit, so don’t come crying to us when our “cure” (a brisk walk and a deep breath) doesn’t stop you from keying a Trump floatie. We’re not liable for lost sanity, broken keyboards, or sudden urges to hug a bald eagle. Enjoy the ride, and keep your common sense handy—it’s the best vaccine we’ve got.